Sunday, June 12, 2011


First of all, let me just say that I had a pretty good day, showed in that as I rested, exhausted, on the sit-up bench staring at the roofing that even though pretty much every single part of me hurt (some places hurt bad) I was having a really good time and even if I was getting sloppy and slow as I got tired (and lazy) I could have finished my first 4 hour Sunday lesson (instead of the 3 hours we ended up doing) if asked.

^ Oh yeah, that was all one sentence; suckit, Grammar Nazis. ^

Anyways, as I said before this was my first Sunday and they are scheduled to be 4 hours long.

We started with jumping rope again. I am determined to get this shit, but I haven't been the quickest study. I keep loosing my rhythm and balance. I'm supposed to stay in guard and bounce forwards and back as I do it and I keep putting the wrong foot down, jumping too high, or just plain fucking it up. I was told to get to 100 and made it to 38, not even a personal best (I'm just guessing). It's incredibly frustrating and embarrassing when Karim has to just say alright enough is enough and stop me. (I'm panting by now and haven't even gotten anywhere)

After that things got a little (LITTLE) better as we went over all of the kicks, which was fun and I think I'm getting a little looser and better (even if they're weaker than my grandma on Jupiter) at them. If my Thai is right (yeah, yeah it's transliterated, so what) they're:
Dtai chiang (middle kick)
Dtai ban (high kick - head)
Dtai lang (low kick - to the thigh)
teep (push kick)
Dtai krueng kang krueng kao (half kick - half knee, you hit with the upper shin in a kinda dtai chiang motion while blocking)
Dtai .... shit I forgot (it's a sweeping kick with a push from the same-side arm, you want to do it to both legs from the back)

Did a few of those shadow boxing and on the bag (10 or so each, not a lot but I'm still panting by the end of it). Somboon came in and made sure I was pivoting my hip enough when I kick (For some reason I thought the kicks would be a lot quicker to pick up than they have be and I still struggle).

After a bit of that the fun began. Up until this point it's been static, compliant or drills practice. Nothing really exciting except for the fact that I'm fucking training Muay Thai in Thailand. Well, Somboon spoke to Karim for a bit and he gets that evil-I'm about to make you feel like shit- kinda grin on his face (In or out of training I watch out for it) and just walk over, does a grabbing motion and before I know it it's a grapple + knee session. Whooya, this was wild. He came in like a miniature freight train (he weights something like 54 kg) got me by the neck and it was no mercy. I felt like I was at a Judo tourney up against some giant Russian muthafucka, except he also knees me in the gut. I gave it my best and even tried some actual Judo when things got really rough (didn't really help, but I wasn't honestly expecting much, just in survival mode). After I start getting shaky he starts tossing me like a rag-doll and then kicking me while I'm down (laughing).  It was incredible, it felt as real as it gets and hurt like a bitch but I was standing...ish at the end (okay, so I was lying on my back panting in a puddle of sweat... read what you want out of that btw you fucking pervs).

Thankfully Karim's girlfriend (a fellow English teacher) arrives and gives me a much needed break as some sort of family drama was going down and distracted him while I caught my breath. I would need it.

So I thought the grapple would be the highlight of the day. It wasn't. Sparring was. Yes, fucking sparring. I couldn't believe it. He had to say it twice (well, mostly because he called it spare-ing). I put on the gloves, the shinpads and got the living hell beaten out of me. Everything I had learned I forgot. Everything I knew I didn't. My speed wasn't and my power didn't matter (I didn't land a single clean hit. I spent most of the time backing up (running for my life) and covering up as my jab turned into an open boxing session on my chin. I can't remember it all (we went for a while and I was pretty dizzy by the end) but the big things I need to remember are:
BLOCK WITH MY FUCKING LEGS (the kicks, I mean) I kept on doing stupid karate bullshit in the first time since starting training. I thought I got it out of my system but apparently not and I ate plenty of kicks for it. Thanks a whole hell of a lot Goju Ryu, you suck.
Keep my cool. I would get excited, bounce and inevitably get knocked down to the ground.
Combinations, use them
MOVE FORWARD (backing up only gets you beaten up while you back up)

Those are the highlights anyways.

After I failed to get back up after a particularly nice kick to the stomach he decided I had had enough and I got to sit for a bit. Sit-ups that it. 100 in 25 sit-up sets. That sucked, but it was the knell for the end as after that we halfheartedly lifted weights as Somboon chatted up Karim's girl and that was it.

All in all today showed me major flaws in my abilities and a bunch of things to work on.

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